Comment of the day:
I am officially a Mass-hole.
The new (very expensive!) license arrived today. It's still a little traumatic for me, even though I've had a week since I went in to get it and about two since I actively began the process.
If I hadn't lost my voter registration in Iowa, I probably wouldn't have bothered yet. Plus I still had another year left on my IA license and since I rarely drive, I figured I couldn't get into too much trouble -- though I'm hesitant to how much I actually believe that.
Plus it's weird out here -- they make you take your glasses off for the photo. But I always wear my glasses, so it seems a bit pointless. [side note, that's some serious html code just to italicize something!]
But the long and the short... I am now a lost Iowan soul. I can't bear to say I'm no longer an Iowan, because it's just not true. I won't ever get all the dirt out of my blood or from under my fingernails, so I will always be an Iowan even if there isn't any level of government that will acknowledge it.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Trying this again :)
So question of today (from among way too many!):
How do the characters on Grey's Anatomy keep such beautiful and clean bedrooms?
Because my crazy schedule (which I am self-absorbed enough to say nearly rivals theirs at times) -- even at half-speed -- clearly does not really give me enough time to keep mine that clean, organized, sparse and beautiful. Seriously.
So question of today (from among way too many!):
How do the characters on Grey's Anatomy keep such beautiful and clean bedrooms?
Because my crazy schedule (which I am self-absorbed enough to say nearly rivals theirs at times) -- even at half-speed -- clearly does not really give me enough time to keep mine that clean, organized, sparse and beautiful. Seriously.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
argh! what has happened to me! i've been sucked in by that nonsense called Grey's Anatomy and now ABC is teasing me already with trailers for the new season -- which doesn't start for another MONTH AND A HALF! what am i suppose to do until then? how did i get to this point?! the pain and agony...
okay time to sleep -- if the cloud cover goes -- which it probably won't -- i swear I'm getting up early to watch the Perseids... i think i spelled that nearly right. though technically they're still visible for another few days, just that tonight's the best night to see them
wish I were at the Iowa State Fair again to watch them from there (what few you could see with the Midway lights) -- but I don't need the type 2 diabetes from the Fair! :D
okay time to sleep -- if the cloud cover goes -- which it probably won't -- i swear I'm getting up early to watch the Perseids... i think i spelled that nearly right. though technically they're still visible for another few days, just that tonight's the best night to see them
wish I were at the Iowa State Fair again to watch them from there (what few you could see with the Midway lights) -- but I don't need the type 2 diabetes from the Fair! :D
Monday, June 16, 2008
drifting on the rapids of the cedar
this bridge has been such a part of my mystical life. the words Sutliff Bridge always conjured up magical elements for me as a child.
this was the bridge my mom spoke of running across in her childhood and playing on with her cousins. the bridge my granddad crossed countless times to play stickball on the opposite bank. the same one he had to drive a Tin Lizzy across to prove to his dad that he was ready to get his driver's permit at 14.
this is the bridge my mom made my dad drive across in the early 1970's -- probably as a final test to see if he was made of the stuff she wanted in a husband; a test to see if she was going to let him propose to her... (btw, my dad still curses that bridge out and mum and I've decided he's rather happy the damn thing's been swept away now)
this is the bridge i stepped out on but my fear of heights and intense vertigo kept me from getting more than 13 feet out on -- though that experience is the one that cemented my Iowa origins ... Sutliff is smaller than small town and even i always recognized that, but felt lucky to say my family was from it.
and now it's gone. A bridge that survived '65 and '93 and survived being demolished on countless times... gone to the wrath that is mother nature and a wrath that is constantly re-proving that this year is going to be even more severe than that of '93... which was suppose to be the worst it ever could be.
It's just physical proof of what I always knew to be truth. But it's the physical proof of the mysticism that is the very essence of my marrow and knowing it's gone -- when knowing that it stood though i haven't seen it in over a decade helped to ground me to my roots -- causes an ache in my very bones.
http://www.kcrg.com/younews/19903804.html
this was the bridge my mom spoke of running across in her childhood and playing on with her cousins. the bridge my granddad crossed countless times to play stickball on the opposite bank. the same one he had to drive a Tin Lizzy across to prove to his dad that he was ready to get his driver's permit at 14.
this is the bridge my mom made my dad drive across in the early 1970's -- probably as a final test to see if he was made of the stuff she wanted in a husband; a test to see if she was going to let him propose to her... (btw, my dad still curses that bridge out and mum and I've decided he's rather happy the damn thing's been swept away now)
this is the bridge i stepped out on but my fear of heights and intense vertigo kept me from getting more than 13 feet out on -- though that experience is the one that cemented my Iowa origins ... Sutliff is smaller than small town and even i always recognized that, but felt lucky to say my family was from it.
and now it's gone. A bridge that survived '65 and '93 and survived being demolished on countless times... gone to the wrath that is mother nature and a wrath that is constantly re-proving that this year is going to be even more severe than that of '93... which was suppose to be the worst it ever could be.
It's just physical proof of what I always knew to be truth. But it's the physical proof of the mysticism that is the very essence of my marrow and knowing it's gone -- when knowing that it stood though i haven't seen it in over a decade helped to ground me to my roots -- causes an ache in my very bones.
http://www.kcrg.com/younews/19903804.html
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
still homeworking... but in a smidge of delirium this time
JSTOR has a new look -- all pretty and academically sexy. Thankfully not more than two other people are on JSTOR at 1.15 in the morning this time! Seriously -- who else is on JSTOR at 3am -- I can't get over that still.
little fun factoid about me -- i have five library cards in my wallet. all for out here in greater metro area and all necessary to have with me so i can get into various libraries that i actually access! urban life is fun.
little fun factoid about me -- i have five library cards in my wallet. all for out here in greater metro area and all necessary to have with me so i can get into various libraries that i actually access! urban life is fun.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
homeworking in obscurity
it's quiet in my section of the ether tonight. my computer is connected to millions of points on the planet at the moment yet i see none in my corner -- it could be an overwhelming experience :)
something has changed lately. if i can figure out what has changed -- how all the little things that have changed have cumulated into the combined force that was strong enough to affect this change, i might stand a chance of making it through this long-term design process. whatever it was, however it happened, it's good -- i hope it lasts.
final thought: is architecture school suppose to feel like you're descending into schizophrenia... though maybe i could describe it better as walking on the edge of a razorblade... or, running up a scree slope....
something has changed lately. if i can figure out what has changed -- how all the little things that have changed have cumulated into the combined force that was strong enough to affect this change, i might stand a chance of making it through this long-term design process. whatever it was, however it happened, it's good -- i hope it lasts.
final thought: is architecture school suppose to feel like you're descending into schizophrenia... though maybe i could describe it better as walking on the edge of a razorblade... or, running up a scree slope....
Friday, April 04, 2008
There's a show on PBS tonight about how socio-economics can affect health and one of the interviewees mentions that he makes enough money to choose where he lives etc. He commented that he doesn't have to find a bus station to take the bus two hours each way each day just to get to and from work. Because of this, he has time to exercise and because he has a car, he can live where he wants and shop where he wants for better foods.
My thought is -- does living without a car, clearly a symbol of elevated socio-economic status in the US, mean the same thing if one makes the decision, the choice to live without the car? When it's a choice -- and it can be a very stressful lack in my life at times -- does it cause the same type of stress for someone who supposedly could afford a car as it does for someone who can not afford a vehicle?
My thought is -- does living without a car, clearly a symbol of elevated socio-economic status in the US, mean the same thing if one makes the decision, the choice to live without the car? When it's a choice -- and it can be a very stressful lack in my life at times -- does it cause the same type of stress for someone who supposedly could afford a car as it does for someone who can not afford a vehicle?
Thursday, April 03, 2008
today was a day to live a normal day -- i pushed hard through my homework this last week (and taxes) so i could take today/night off from school. i just went to work, had lunch out and went with friends to a concert.
which concert? why an amazing concert! featuring the Wailin' Jennys from "Canada". I loved how they really didn't specify much. Though they probably, like me, claim to hail from multiple places in their country -- as I assume they're the type of spirits to roam a bit.
a truly amazing concert and experience, I skipped class tonight to make this happen. but as they are from the West Coast, they don't often make it to the East Coast too often, or at least as I've noticed. So i decided this time I would go and not worry about waiting for the next time they're out here. Plus they were right here in Somerville, what could be more convenient? Last time they were in Newburyport. Tomorrow night and Saturday, they're in Northampton and I can't help thinking it'll be a more lively crowd -- not like I had energy to be lively tonight myself. But it was still just amazing! So I am glad I went and sooo glad I made sure to go.
Additional a fellow classmate came too -- it's a funny story how it happened. she'd received a cd of their music three weeks prior from an aunt for her birthday. Then last Thursday night after class, she gave me a ride home. I was already singing along with the music, thinking how familiar it is, when she was saying how I should look into this group and that led to a conversation along the lines --
"omg, I love this group! They're playing next week in Somerville. I'm skipping class to go! You should come with!" -- me
"haha, I'm so stressed tonight, I think I might! That's so funny!" -- friend
so i had accomplices in my plot to play hooky tonight -- and it was a lovely scheme. :)
so it's late and I'm not completely sure I'm coherent -- or even if i have been for days...
which concert? why an amazing concert! featuring the Wailin' Jennys from "Canada". I loved how they really didn't specify much. Though they probably, like me, claim to hail from multiple places in their country -- as I assume they're the type of spirits to roam a bit.
a truly amazing concert and experience, I skipped class tonight to make this happen. but as they are from the West Coast, they don't often make it to the East Coast too often, or at least as I've noticed. So i decided this time I would go and not worry about waiting for the next time they're out here. Plus they were right here in Somerville, what could be more convenient? Last time they were in Newburyport. Tomorrow night and Saturday, they're in Northampton and I can't help thinking it'll be a more lively crowd -- not like I had energy to be lively tonight myself. But it was still just amazing! So I am glad I went and sooo glad I made sure to go.
Additional a fellow classmate came too -- it's a funny story how it happened. she'd received a cd of their music three weeks prior from an aunt for her birthday. Then last Thursday night after class, she gave me a ride home. I was already singing along with the music, thinking how familiar it is, when she was saying how I should look into this group and that led to a conversation along the lines --
"omg, I love this group! They're playing next week in Somerville. I'm skipping class to go! You should come with!" -- me
"haha, I'm so stressed tonight, I think I might! That's so funny!" -- friend
so i had accomplices in my plot to play hooky tonight -- and it was a lovely scheme. :)
so it's late and I'm not completely sure I'm coherent -- or even if i have been for days...
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
i'm so good at not writing for months -- then i only write to say that the stress is finally manifesting itself beyond small annoyances and panic is arising. too bad that's when i seem to be best at getting stuff done for final crits.
it's so weird how stress that's been internalized can't even be felt, yet when it finally starts manifesting externally only then do i understand just how much of it there is... how do i get to stay so calm when it's internal?
can't i just go back to visiting museums in new york?
it's so weird how stress that's been internalized can't even be felt, yet when it finally starts manifesting externally only then do i understand just how much of it there is... how do i get to stay so calm when it's internal?
can't i just go back to visiting museums in new york?
Monday, October 29, 2007
hmmm, so the roommate Amelia (also delphi goddaughter) and I were discussing whether we wanted to bet on how long we could go without turning on the heat ...
then we realised that Bobby would kill us if we didn't let him turn on the heat at some point soon, though he was asleep when we discussed this and I'm beginning to think he might be interested in participating.
we didn't come up with any turns because we were laughing so hard about this possible bet.
though i'd probably lose -- or be disqualified for cheating once my heating mattress pad arrives and I start using it! :)
but stay tuned, you never know if this bet will take place or not
also, does anyone have any good ideas on 'creative' supplies for building architectural models? I've always failed at this -- i usually don't build models until the weekend and then don't really have time to devote to 'experimenting' and recreating something if the experiment fails, but I've decided that I have to do or die trying this time -- the constancy of chipboard and the saving-the-environment excuse is apparently wearing thin on the instructors...
i'm thinking of hitting up Pearl, A&C and Home Depot this weekend! .. can we say Zipcar?!
then we realised that Bobby would kill us if we didn't let him turn on the heat at some point soon, though he was asleep when we discussed this and I'm beginning to think he might be interested in participating.
we didn't come up with any turns because we were laughing so hard about this possible bet.
though i'd probably lose -- or be disqualified for cheating once my heating mattress pad arrives and I start using it! :)
but stay tuned, you never know if this bet will take place or not
also, does anyone have any good ideas on 'creative' supplies for building architectural models? I've always failed at this -- i usually don't build models until the weekend and then don't really have time to devote to 'experimenting' and recreating something if the experiment fails, but I've decided that I have to do or die trying this time -- the constancy of chipboard and the saving-the-environment excuse is apparently wearing thin on the instructors...
i'm thinking of hitting up Pearl, A&C and Home Depot this weekend! .. can we say Zipcar?!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
oh lor' it's been awhile...
so much to share, so little time to even sleep, let alone blog in my life right now. but the long and the short of it : back in classes, still at the same company (non-arch), new apartment and new roommates, no boy in my life and the summer was every ounce of down time that i needed.
One of my uncles' and his wife and their youngest son were in town for the evening. I had to leave the Florence Knoll lecture early to go meet them for what turned into dinner at the Hyatt Regency on Memorial Drive. I haven't seen this uncle and family since 1996 I think -- so ten or eleven years now, wow just realised how long it's been. Their oldest son is in NYC now -- he's my age -- and rather busy working in investment banking. Though I'm hopeful that when I go to visit Kim, he might have time for a coffee. Their youngest is about to start as an accountant in Orange County. So much has changed since I last saw them. They're not always able to at the family reunions so it was insane to see the youngest as a 21 year old now! But we had a lovely dinner and I'm glad I saw them. A couple of schoolmates were at the lecture too so I'll be get their notes to see what I missed.
The lecture was about Florence Knoll and her influence on design and interior design in the post-war era. Super interesting -- made even more so because the school provided wine and hors d'oeuvres and cookies! All before I had dinner! I love when schools give you alcohol to drink.
ok, it's late and time to eat fake baby sausages with the roommate! g'night!
so much to share, so little time to even sleep, let alone blog in my life right now. but the long and the short of it : back in classes, still at the same company (non-arch), new apartment and new roommates, no boy in my life and the summer was every ounce of down time that i needed.
One of my uncles' and his wife and their youngest son were in town for the evening. I had to leave the Florence Knoll lecture early to go meet them for what turned into dinner at the Hyatt Regency on Memorial Drive. I haven't seen this uncle and family since 1996 I think -- so ten or eleven years now, wow just realised how long it's been. Their oldest son is in NYC now -- he's my age -- and rather busy working in investment banking. Though I'm hopeful that when I go to visit Kim, he might have time for a coffee. Their youngest is about to start as an accountant in Orange County. So much has changed since I last saw them. They're not always able to at the family reunions so it was insane to see the youngest as a 21 year old now! But we had a lovely dinner and I'm glad I saw them. A couple of schoolmates were at the lecture too so I'll be get their notes to see what I missed.
The lecture was about Florence Knoll and her influence on design and interior design in the post-war era. Super interesting -- made even more so because the school provided wine and hors d'oeuvres and cookies! All before I had dinner! I love when schools give you alcohol to drink.
ok, it's late and time to eat fake baby sausages with the roommate! g'night!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
there is so much i should bring up to date however it's late so i'll only make a list (since i've been chastised for no pictures from France being up yet and also been chastised for faking being dead) and write about how fun tonight was
so the list:
1) france
2) london
3) the boys
4) Tampa
5) work
6) school
7) the apt hunt
tonight:
Tonight was fun! Bobby and I got free tickets to the screening of Ratatouille through the French Library. On the way to the Landmark Center for dinner and the film, the boy phoned me ( :) ) and then he asked what I was doing! -- except Bobby and I already had plans, which I told him. Then I invited him along (he's got to go out of town yet again this weekend) but he said he couldn't be ready in time to join us and that he would go to a film at the AMC instead and to call him when we got out of our film. So Bobby and I went to dinner and literally as we were finishing up someone came up to our table and just sat down -- it was him! So he came to Ratatouille with us and out for a drink afterwards. B approves of him (which i never doubted b/c he is always so supportive) and we have such similar taste in men.
so essentially I went out on a ?double?, or maybe, dual-, is the better word, date with both my boys tonight :D it was truly fun and a bit paradoxical.
here's a bunch of photos to tide the three people who read this over until i have the rest of them up on the blog
the london eye, parliment/big ben
windsor castle, inside windsor
st.paul and millenium bridge, my beautiful grown-up host brother striking his voltaire pose
capitole, marche du capitole (mercredi bien sur)
pont neuf, from ile de la cite
versailles (bien sur), les tortues et grenouille de versailles
notre dame, le tour eiffel
so the list:
1) france
2) london
3) the boys
4) Tampa
5) work
6) school
7) the apt hunt
tonight:
Tonight was fun! Bobby and I got free tickets to the screening of Ratatouille through the French Library. On the way to the Landmark Center for dinner and the film, the boy phoned me ( :) ) and then he asked what I was doing! -- except Bobby and I already had plans, which I told him. Then I invited him along (he's got to go out of town yet again this weekend) but he said he couldn't be ready in time to join us and that he would go to a film at the AMC instead and to call him when we got out of our film. So Bobby and I went to dinner and literally as we were finishing up someone came up to our table and just sat down -- it was him! So he came to Ratatouille with us and out for a drink afterwards. B approves of him (which i never doubted b/c he is always so supportive) and we have such similar taste in men.
so essentially I went out on a ?double?, or maybe, dual-, is the better word, date with both my boys tonight :D it was truly fun and a bit paradoxical.
here's a bunch of photos to tide the three people who read this over until i have the rest of them up on the blog
the london eye, parliment/big ben
windsor castle, inside windsor
st.paul and millenium bridge, my beautiful grown-up host brother striking his voltaire pose
capitole, marche du capitole (mercredi bien sur)
pont neuf, from ile de la cite
versailles (bien sur), les tortues et grenouille de versailles
notre dame, le tour eiffel
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
hmm where to start...
it's been an insane, two?, weeks. so in other words, be prepared, I'm not sure where this post is going... it might turn into an undispherable ranting run-down of these last two weeks. but i'm listening to de palmas so hopefully i won't get too nutso...
we're prepping for finals this week in classes. i turned in the final part of my 20 page paper for design principles -- it was crap. i doubt michael will fail me but i really need to get better at those good intentions of starting my papers sooner than the night before they're due. sigh. the presentation as were most people's was very laid-back and minimal. I'm actually going to miss that class -- we were a really good, light mix of people.
i'm in the middle of designing my presentation layout for final review in studio -- it's immense and laying all over the office floor at the moment -- but i have good roommates who understand and are letting me take up the entire office for these few days. i realised that i still have another piece to produce and i really want to update my site model a bit -- though time wise i'm nervous about fitting that in. i also have a crapload of printing to do tomorrow night after my autoCAD final -- i'd have done it tonight but something about the fire alarm going off at 6.30 right as i was finishing up my CAD homework -- and 30 minutes before the building was closing anyways... argh. Sen was my goddess and let me come over and finish up on her educational edition (which is the same thing except it prints out huge labels on the edges of your papers that 'this document was created with an educational version of autoCAD'. not that that's an issue for this class!
oh and i have to photograph everything that hasn't already been photographed and drop it onto a disk before wednesday! doesn't that sound like tons of fun! :P
and i have a ton of perspective drawing to finish up -- but i think i can get everything done and still sleep and maybe not even call in sick to work, though i might wednesday ;)
i just have to make it to Thursday night! and then it's done -- Kris is having a party at her place then so we can all celebrate and i'm so excited -- and then on friday, I leave for eight days in France! I'm going home!!! uber excited! Angela's coming along for the fun too -- as we've been friends for the last nine years and haven't yet spent more than a week straight in each other's company, we decided it was time to change that :D here's hoping our strong friendship is as strong as we think it is! lol -- not that we're actually concerned!
in other news, the architect is uber stressed out between work and classes. i haven't gotten to really see him in the last two weeks. he's struggling with the concept of balancing work, school and a relationship -- worries that the person (me) he's in a relationship with should be the most important thing in his life (??? I know, i was confused as to why he thinks that too -- we're NOT married after all) -- and is stressed enough that he actually verbalised the thought of finding a different program.
-- side note: everyone is thinking that -- at least three friends are leaving. Joe actually applied and was excepted to GSD (whatever!) but isn't going b/c he wouldn't be able to work while taking classes there. i've had the conversation with myself of if i'm being idiotic by not actively considering leaving -- then i remember that i like small institutions that the majority of people don't know or think is a bad school ... i know this is a stupid reason for choosing and staying at a school but it's that underdog scenario i guess....
-- end side note
so anyways, the architect is stressed, has been distant -- at an annoyingly bad time as I'm finally getting comfortable with letting people know we're together, though i can't do that now that he's not cooperating -- and it doesn't help i think, that i'm the one calling and saying hey, i can come over and hang out if you want while he can only tell me he's too stressed and busy.
the thing is -- he is stressed, busy, anxious and not just wasting time etc -- so it's not like i can fault him or be upset that he can't find time for me even though i'm in the same position and can find it. (i know he doesn't consider my job as demanding as his and in some regards it's not but in other ways it is -- so i know it balances out, but he's a guy and he's older and has some weird age syndrome so he definitely doesn't think my jobs as demanding, whatever :) )
the long and short of it -- two weeks since i've really seen him, i'm out of the country (hooray!) next week, we both work the week after and he's going home over Memorial Day weekend. So it's going to be a month before I see him again really. in other words, i'm not sure where we're going to be in a month :( -- i don't get the feeling that this relationship is over yet (it's going to end at some point -- this i know -- we are not meant to be lifers) but i just didn't sense that this was going to be such a short relationship -- though i don't know if it's going to end in a month just that well, i don't know what's going on and i'm nervous though i'm also coming to accept that whatever happens is what will happen and i'll have to go on from there. Senofer would be so happy if this thing ended I know -- she tries to be nice to him though. and i'm hopeful that he and i will ride out part of the summer :)
-- man this whole relationship thing can really suck -- no wonder i've stayed away from it for so long -- it doesn't help that my stress and hormone levels have risen exponentially in comparison to the decline of my sleeping hours :P
well it's late and i'm sleepy and my mind's drifting and my fingers are typing lots of wrong keys and spellings so ... time to end -- nothing funny or amazing to share but comments are welcomed, comme toujours! a la prochaine!
it's been an insane, two?, weeks. so in other words, be prepared, I'm not sure where this post is going... it might turn into an undispherable ranting run-down of these last two weeks. but i'm listening to de palmas so hopefully i won't get too nutso...
we're prepping for finals this week in classes. i turned in the final part of my 20 page paper for design principles -- it was crap. i doubt michael will fail me but i really need to get better at those good intentions of starting my papers sooner than the night before they're due. sigh. the presentation as were most people's was very laid-back and minimal. I'm actually going to miss that class -- we were a really good, light mix of people.
i'm in the middle of designing my presentation layout for final review in studio -- it's immense and laying all over the office floor at the moment -- but i have good roommates who understand and are letting me take up the entire office for these few days. i realised that i still have another piece to produce and i really want to update my site model a bit -- though time wise i'm nervous about fitting that in. i also have a crapload of printing to do tomorrow night after my autoCAD final -- i'd have done it tonight but something about the fire alarm going off at 6.30 right as i was finishing up my CAD homework -- and 30 minutes before the building was closing anyways... argh. Sen was my goddess and let me come over and finish up on her educational edition (which is the same thing except it prints out huge labels on the edges of your papers that 'this document was created with an educational version of autoCAD'. not that that's an issue for this class!
oh and i have to photograph everything that hasn't already been photographed and drop it onto a disk before wednesday! doesn't that sound like tons of fun! :P
and i have a ton of perspective drawing to finish up -- but i think i can get everything done and still sleep and maybe not even call in sick to work, though i might wednesday ;)
i just have to make it to Thursday night! and then it's done -- Kris is having a party at her place then so we can all celebrate and i'm so excited -- and then on friday, I leave for eight days in France! I'm going home!!! uber excited! Angela's coming along for the fun too -- as we've been friends for the last nine years and haven't yet spent more than a week straight in each other's company, we decided it was time to change that :D here's hoping our strong friendship is as strong as we think it is! lol -- not that we're actually concerned!
in other news, the architect is uber stressed out between work and classes. i haven't gotten to really see him in the last two weeks. he's struggling with the concept of balancing work, school and a relationship -- worries that the person (me) he's in a relationship with should be the most important thing in his life (??? I know, i was confused as to why he thinks that too -- we're NOT married after all) -- and is stressed enough that he actually verbalised the thought of finding a different program.
-- side note: everyone is thinking that -- at least three friends are leaving. Joe actually applied and was excepted to GSD (whatever!) but isn't going b/c he wouldn't be able to work while taking classes there. i've had the conversation with myself of if i'm being idiotic by not actively considering leaving -- then i remember that i like small institutions that the majority of people don't know or think is a bad school ... i know this is a stupid reason for choosing and staying at a school but it's that underdog scenario i guess....
-- end side note
so anyways, the architect is stressed, has been distant -- at an annoyingly bad time as I'm finally getting comfortable with letting people know we're together, though i can't do that now that he's not cooperating -- and it doesn't help i think, that i'm the one calling and saying hey, i can come over and hang out if you want while he can only tell me he's too stressed and busy.
the thing is -- he is stressed, busy, anxious and not just wasting time etc -- so it's not like i can fault him or be upset that he can't find time for me even though i'm in the same position and can find it. (i know he doesn't consider my job as demanding as his and in some regards it's not but in other ways it is -- so i know it balances out, but he's a guy and he's older and has some weird age syndrome so he definitely doesn't think my jobs as demanding, whatever :) )
the long and short of it -- two weeks since i've really seen him, i'm out of the country (hooray!) next week, we both work the week after and he's going home over Memorial Day weekend. So it's going to be a month before I see him again really. in other words, i'm not sure where we're going to be in a month :( -- i don't get the feeling that this relationship is over yet (it's going to end at some point -- this i know -- we are not meant to be lifers) but i just didn't sense that this was going to be such a short relationship -- though i don't know if it's going to end in a month just that well, i don't know what's going on and i'm nervous though i'm also coming to accept that whatever happens is what will happen and i'll have to go on from there. Senofer would be so happy if this thing ended I know -- she tries to be nice to him though. and i'm hopeful that he and i will ride out part of the summer :)
-- man this whole relationship thing can really suck -- no wonder i've stayed away from it for so long -- it doesn't help that my stress and hormone levels have risen exponentially in comparison to the decline of my sleeping hours :P
well it's late and i'm sleepy and my mind's drifting and my fingers are typing lots of wrong keys and spellings so ... time to end -- nothing funny or amazing to share but comments are welcomed, comme toujours! a la prochaine!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
i'm interrupting my 'long haul' -- as i've recently dubbed my evenings of late, i'll try to remember to explain why later -- because i was thinking about the architect and i realised something ... or rather i came upon a question concerning him for which i have two answers and i'm not sure which one is right.
i've been trying to understand what about him makes him different for me -- why do i feel more comfortable with him than i have other guys in the past, especially when i can tell he's not a guy i'm going to marry ...
i suppose you could say that it's simply age and time -- i haven't dated in years, i'm extremely independent and i've had plenty of time to evaluate what i want out of a relationship
or it's that being independent, having been so and on only my own for the last several years, I know how i am and that i could walk away from this relationship intact
or it's that he's older (??) -- this brings us back to that question of age vs. maturity though (read the previous posts) -- and is more willing to let me be me even though there are things about me that he isn't as fond of (vice versa for me!
those were the main points of thought and most of the rest revolved around those... and for that i interrupt my long haul of homework, cleaning and laundry -- why do i try to cramp so much into one evening when i'm getting into the busy part of my semester! why do i think these things are good things that MUST be done now! ... aieaie aie.... i laugh at own insanity, feel free to join in
back to the grind...
i've been trying to understand what about him makes him different for me -- why do i feel more comfortable with him than i have other guys in the past, especially when i can tell he's not a guy i'm going to marry ...
i suppose you could say that it's simply age and time -- i haven't dated in years, i'm extremely independent and i've had plenty of time to evaluate what i want out of a relationship
or it's that being independent, having been so and on only my own for the last several years, I know how i am and that i could walk away from this relationship intact
or it's that he's older (??) -- this brings us back to that question of age vs. maturity though (read the previous posts) -- and is more willing to let me be me even though there are things about me that he isn't as fond of (vice versa for me!
those were the main points of thought and most of the rest revolved around those... and for that i interrupt my long haul of homework, cleaning and laundry -- why do i try to cramp so much into one evening when i'm getting into the busy part of my semester! why do i think these things are good things that MUST be done now! ... aieaie aie.... i laugh at own insanity, feel free to join in
back to the grind...
Sunday, April 15, 2007
the girls -- aka TL and Kim from France -- have arrived! Kooby and I went out to Logan tonight to pick them up! It was soooo exciting! The girls are staying at my place the first week and with Kristen for the second week... so we took the long T ride home to my place and hauled the luggage up the seven flights of public stairs before hauling them up the next two to my floor! It was an extremely interesting 'intro' i suppose to Boston for them.
They have arrived just in time, also, for a true NE (New England, not Nebraska) style Nor'easter -- which is expected to be full-on ranging on Monday -- MARATHON MONDAY! I'm actually living near the marathon route this year -- so I'm going to go out and see part of it at least and cheer people on -- I doubt I'll be out to cheer on the leaders and I'm nearly definitely not going to go to Copley Square! I can't handle that much crowd! In fact, I'm hoping to go to Salem at some point on Monday to see the Yin Yu Tang house as it's supposedly going to be my basis for my comparison paper in Design Principles -- if I ever make it up there!
In other news, well there isn't much -- i'm so excited for my upcoming trip to France, especially now the girls are here and i'm really excited for my federal tax refund (I'm 99% sure I did them right) to pay for my trip to France!! yay educational tax credits! Revolution season is up and running though I had to turn down going to tonight's game b/c I wouldn't have made it to Logan in time to meet the girls! And finally, for tonight anyways, the boy is still on the island in a strong way -- (please don't worry, I'm not falling for this boy) but he's definitely in my life and it's kind of interesting. you may feel free to live vicariously through me ;)
oh so my day was a weird day -- woke at the boy's, spend the morning there, was going to go to Salem today but umm, cough cough, missed my train -- had had a call from Joe (classmate) earlier in the day inquiring what i was doing -- so I stayed at the boy's a bit longer and then left to go home and work and instead phoned Joe while out doing errands and met him for food and then ice cream (coffee in his caffiene-addicted case) before running home long enough to change bags and heading to Logan. The reason I spent time with Joe is b/c I know he has about three friends in Boston still and his long-time (like four years) girlfriend and he are splitting up and she's moving back to PA though not until the end of the month -- so he's spending a ton of time away from the apartment and he was bored today... it's really an insane situation and scares the crap out of me that a relationship can go so bad ... I'm so sad for him.... and yet professionally his life is going in such a good direction.
ok so that's enough randomness about other people and vague randomness about my day :) Friday was awesome b/c I got this kick-ass Pink Panther fold-n-mail letter from Iowa!! (wish me luck all with the next two weeks as I go beyond calm while attempting to balance friends, work, classes and homework!)
They have arrived just in time, also, for a true NE (New England, not Nebraska) style Nor'easter -- which is expected to be full-on ranging on Monday -- MARATHON MONDAY! I'm actually living near the marathon route this year -- so I'm going to go out and see part of it at least and cheer people on -- I doubt I'll be out to cheer on the leaders and I'm nearly definitely not going to go to Copley Square! I can't handle that much crowd! In fact, I'm hoping to go to Salem at some point on Monday to see the Yin Yu Tang house as it's supposedly going to be my basis for my comparison paper in Design Principles -- if I ever make it up there!
In other news, well there isn't much -- i'm so excited for my upcoming trip to France, especially now the girls are here and i'm really excited for my federal tax refund (I'm 99% sure I did them right) to pay for my trip to France!! yay educational tax credits! Revolution season is up and running though I had to turn down going to tonight's game b/c I wouldn't have made it to Logan in time to meet the girls! And finally, for tonight anyways, the boy is still on the island in a strong way -- (please don't worry, I'm not falling for this boy) but he's definitely in my life and it's kind of interesting. you may feel free to live vicariously through me ;)
oh so my day was a weird day -- woke at the boy's, spend the morning there, was going to go to Salem today but umm, cough cough, missed my train -- had had a call from Joe (classmate) earlier in the day inquiring what i was doing -- so I stayed at the boy's a bit longer and then left to go home and work and instead phoned Joe while out doing errands and met him for food and then ice cream (coffee in his caffiene-addicted case) before running home long enough to change bags and heading to Logan. The reason I spent time with Joe is b/c I know he has about three friends in Boston still and his long-time (like four years) girlfriend and he are splitting up and she's moving back to PA though not until the end of the month -- so he's spending a ton of time away from the apartment and he was bored today... it's really an insane situation and scares the crap out of me that a relationship can go so bad ... I'm so sad for him.... and yet professionally his life is going in such a good direction.
ok so that's enough randomness about other people and vague randomness about my day :) Friday was awesome b/c I got this kick-ass Pink Panther fold-n-mail letter from Iowa!! (wish me luck all with the next two weeks as I go beyond calm while attempting to balance friends, work, classes and homework!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
