homeworking in obscurity

it's quiet in my section of the ether tonight. my computer is connected to millions of points on the planet at the moment yet i see none in my corner -- it could be an overwhelming experience :)

something has changed lately. if i can figure out what has changed -- how all the little things that have changed have cumulated into the combined force that was strong enough to affect this change, i might stand a chance of making it through this long-term design process. whatever it was, however it happened, it's good -- i hope it lasts.

final thought: is architecture school suppose to feel like you're descending into schizophrenia... though maybe i could describe it better as walking on the edge of a razorblade... or, running up a scree slope....

There's a show on PBS tonight about how socio-economics can affect health and one of the interviewees mentions that he makes enough money to choose where he lives etc. He commented that he doesn't have to find a bus station to take the bus two hours each way each day just to get to and from work. Because of this, he has time to exercise and because he has a car, he can live where he wants and shop where he wants for better foods.

My thought is -- does living without a car, clearly a symbol of elevated socio-economic status in the US, mean the same thing if one makes the decision, the choice to live without the car? When it's a choice -- and it can be a very stressful lack in my life at times -- does it cause the same type of stress for someone who supposedly could afford a car as it does for someone who can not afford a vehicle?

today was a day to live a normal day -- i pushed hard through my homework this last week (and taxes) so i could take today/night off from school. i just went to work, had lunch out and went with friends to a concert.

which concert? why an amazing concert! featuring the Wailin' Jennys from "Canada". I loved how they really didn't specify much. Though they probably, like me, claim to hail from multiple places in their country -- as I assume they're the type of spirits to roam a bit.

a truly amazing concert and experience, I skipped class tonight to make this happen. but as they are from the West Coast, they don't often make it to the East Coast too often, or at least as I've noticed. So i decided this time I would go and not worry about waiting for the next time they're out here. Plus they were right here in Somerville, what could be more convenient? Last time they were in Newburyport. Tomorrow night and Saturday, they're in Northampton and I can't help thinking it'll be a more lively crowd -- not like I had energy to be lively tonight myself. But it was still just amazing! So I am glad I went and sooo glad I made sure to go.



Additional a fellow classmate came too -- it's a funny story how it happened. she'd received a cd of their music three weeks prior from an aunt for her birthday. Then last Thursday night after class, she gave me a ride home. I was already singing along with the music, thinking how familiar it is, when she was saying how I should look into this group and that led to a conversation along the lines --

"omg, I love this group! They're playing next week in Somerville. I'm skipping class to go! You should come with!" -- me

"haha, I'm so stressed tonight, I think I might! That's so funny!" -- friend

so i had accomplices in my plot to play hooky tonight -- and it was a lovely scheme. :)



so it's late and I'm not completely sure I'm coherent -- or even if i have been for days...

i hate baby's breath. but it does make some damn fine looking model trees.

and i've learned -- don't change shoe types in the middle of a stressful week. when your feet hurt, everything suddenly seems even more awful



ok time for history or sleep. whichever actually happens

i'm so good at not writing for months -- then i only write to say that the stress is finally manifesting itself beyond small annoyances and panic is arising. too bad that's when i seem to be best at getting stuff done for final crits.

it's so weird how stress that's been internalized can't even be felt, yet when it finally starts manifesting externally only then do i understand just how much of it there is... how do i get to stay so calm when it's internal?

can't i just go back to visiting museums in new york?

hmmm, so the roommate Amelia (also delphi goddaughter) and I were discussing whether we wanted to bet on how long we could go without turning on the heat ...

then we realised that Bobby would kill us if we didn't let him turn on the heat at some point soon, though he was asleep when we discussed this and I'm beginning to think he might be interested in participating.

we didn't come up with any turns because we were laughing so hard about this possible bet.

though i'd probably lose -- or be disqualified for cheating once my heating mattress pad arrives and I start using it! :)

but stay tuned, you never know if this bet will take place or not

also, does anyone have any good ideas on 'creative' supplies for building architectural models? I've always failed at this -- i usually don't build models until the weekend and then don't really have time to devote to 'experimenting' and recreating something if the experiment fails, but I've decided that I have to do or die trying this time -- the constancy of chipboard and the saving-the-environment excuse is apparently wearing thin on the instructors...

i'm thinking of hitting up Pearl, A&C and Home Depot this weekend! .. can we say Zipcar?!