Sniffles, Tissues, and Tea.

Le 1 décembre 2004.
Sniffle, sniffle. Tissues and trouble and tea. Well not trouble, but when you’re recovering from a cold you always feel so much more miserable than you ever want to feel. So when you invite people up for tea at ten pm doesn’t seem like such a bad idea, but then when tea takes two hours it’s altogether a different story. It’s delightful to have everyone up, but when all you want is a bit of quiet, five extra people can really overwhelm. And it’s always been difficult for me to deal with people talking over one another; I suppose it just seems like such a sign of disrespect for what someone is saying, but in truth it’s more often than not just anxiety to share and create a line of commonality between people.

Lines of commonality- are they more important when people have less or more in common? I haven’t truly decided yet, but I do know that when you understand someone on a deeper level, words become less necessary- vocalization isn’t needed in the same sense. Are lines of commonality only created by a vocalized conveyance or by emotional understanding? But in all cases, they’re important regardless of if it’s with people you know well or not, I suppose.

The circumstances of a situation play such an interesting role in the development of friendships. My understanding of them is far from complete, so it’s hard to say what type of criteria creates the possibilities for different types of development. But it’s so interesting to contemplate. Last year, in Toulouse, we were all there to learn French and about the French culture and society; so we were all students coming from relatively similar experiences and platforms. This year, as assistants, it seems so much more varied, while many of us are students or recent graduates, we are all coming from these widely varied backgrounds of studies and the elements of different cultural backgrounds is even effecting our relationships. So while I still can’t really express it in any coherent form, it’s interesting to consider the differences involved in development of relationships between this year and last year.

Certainty is one of those issues that I keep running into lately- usually in forms of media, so that makes me question the validity of this issue in my life, but still it manages to raise questions. In a film version of Mansfield Park, the character Fanny Price mentions that she has no capacity for certainty, or along those lines, and in a book of Madeleine L’Engle, Bishop Colubra states to Polly that he is seldom sure of anything, and that life at best is a precarious business. So is it that I question the certainty of things in my life or that I question the certainty of the future- in truth, I am not sure of which direction my questions are going. But I am certain that living in France for this time will be an experience that will make a difference in my life, whether it ends up being good or bad. The things I will learn from living in a different country and culture, and of working in that culture as an adult, and working within the education system with the youth of the country will definitely teaches things I never expected to learn.

I feel rather clever, in that I’m considering these issues tonight, but truly I have a feeling that in the morning this writing is going to look atrocious. But hopefully you’ll be able to understand a bit of it. But on that note, I’m signing off because I confuse myself, let alone you in the process of dissecting my thoughts tonight. Time for one last cup of tea and honey for my throat.



In addition…

Le 1 décembre 2004.
In addition, I’ve always been a bit of a night owl. As the years pass, I’ve found that I am often giving to some of my best contemplation of ideas and moments of inspiration during the wee hours of the night. Yet as I and probably many of my professors can attest, I’ve yet to conquer the skills needed to turn this ability into something tangible enough to be able to write coherently in either English or French. While the point of this little tangent is nothing more than to comment on how much of a night owl I am, especially when I don’t have a set hour to wake up in the morning. In my opinion, and as much as I adore sleeping, it’s really too bad that humans have to sleep at all. But sleep I must, and so good night, finally!