so i did the math tonight and figured out that -- if, if i keep going at the present rate -- my undergraduate student loans will be paid off in seven years. just in time to have been paying off grad loans for at least twelve months! hooray? At least nine total years is better than the originally planned for fifteen years. Hopefully that means i'll get my grad loans paid off early too -- though better yet would be to get a firm to do a tuition reimbursement thing! hooray indentured servitude!

it is my birthday.

i know my parents felt that it was better all around for me as a child if my birthday was early in the school year. My dad had been one of the youngest children in his class and had always felt like he was scrambling to keep up with the other kids in his year. As a result, he wanted my brother and I to be among the oldest kids in our classes.

I have never once wished for anything but a fall birthday -- and while in November, it has usually been a half way decent day out, including my actual birth date when it was 70 degree, blue skies and quite windy. I adore the colors during this month, the wind and nature in general.

but what i have wished for, is more understanding from people. those who know me, know i have a deep need for privacy. so much in my life needs to be logically reasoned out, but can be privately determined. and the most important things in my life are private -- including birthdays. While I can enjoy celebrating with others, I have always detested the attention that is thrown onto you simply because someone birthed you on this particular day, however many years ago. I didn't even do anything other than breathe vaporous air for the first time, scream my head off and eat through my mouth. Hooray? If someone is being celebrated, I think logically it should be my poor mama.

However, I know my one soapbox high rant will not change society and I admit, a birthday has the potential to be fun. But my awkward nature lends itself to even more awkward birthday parties -- so I don't have them unless I decide to handle the details myself and I stress overly if I feel like someone else is planning something for my birthday -- I'd much rather just enjoy the day for being another day on this planet than setting out to make it 'special'. Because, aren't they all special days? Why should this one be forced to be more special? That's just too much stress for one little day. So please if you see me today or next year -- just tell me happy birthday like you would hi or hello or what a beautiful day, for that will make me happiest. Not making a fuss is the best birthday present you can ever give me. (Outside of the lovely card the gay bf gave me that has purple sparkle-ly dorothy shoes on the front and says "make this your motto -- I get to because it's my birthday")

I get to be awkward and shy and contrary today, because it's my birthday. :)

off the birthday soapbox rant now -- so, are skunks good luck? I just saw resident neighborhood skunk tonight and damn if they don't grow'em big out here in Boston!