Comment of the day:

I am officially a Mass-hole.


The new (very expensive!) license arrived today. It's still a little traumatic for me, even though I've had a week since I went in to get it and about two since I actively began the process.

If I hadn't lost my voter registration in Iowa, I probably wouldn't have bothered yet. Plus I still had another year left on my IA license and since I rarely drive, I figured I couldn't get into too much trouble -- though I'm hesitant to how much I actually believe that.

Plus it's weird out here -- they make you take your glasses off for the photo. But I always wear my glasses, so it seems a bit pointless. [side note, that's some serious html code just to italicize something!]

But the long and the short... I am now a lost Iowan soul. I can't bear to say I'm no longer an Iowan, because it's just not true. I won't ever get all the dirt out of my blood or from under my fingernails, so I will always be an Iowan even if there isn't any level of government that will acknowledge it.

Trying this again :)

So question of today (from among way too many!):

How do the characters on Grey's Anatomy keep such beautiful and clean bedrooms?

Because my crazy schedule (which I am self-absorbed enough to say nearly rivals theirs at times) -- even at half-speed -- clearly does not really give me enough time to keep mine that clean, organized, sparse and beautiful. Seriously.

argh! what has happened to me! i've been sucked in by that nonsense called Grey's Anatomy and now ABC is teasing me already with trailers for the new season -- which doesn't start for another MONTH AND A HALF! what am i suppose to do until then? how did i get to this point?! the pain and agony...

okay time to sleep -- if the cloud cover goes -- which it probably won't -- i swear I'm getting up early to watch the Perseids... i think i spelled that nearly right. though technically they're still visible for another few days, just that tonight's the best night to see them

wish I were at the Iowa State Fair again to watch them from there (what few you could see with the Midway lights) -- but I don't need the type 2 diabetes from the Fair! :D

drifting on the rapids of the cedar

this bridge has been such a part of my mystical life. the words Sutliff Bridge always conjured up magical elements for me as a child.

this was the bridge my mom spoke of running across in her childhood and playing on with her cousins. the bridge my granddad crossed countless times to play stickball on the opposite bank. the same one he had to drive a Tin Lizzy across to prove to his dad that he was ready to get his driver's permit at 14.

this is the bridge my mom made my dad drive across in the early 1970's -- probably as a final test to see if he was made of the stuff she wanted in a husband; a test to see if she was going to let him propose to her... (btw, my dad still curses that bridge out and mum and I've decided he's rather happy the damn thing's been swept away now)

this is the bridge i stepped out on but my fear of heights and intense vertigo kept me from getting more than 13 feet out on -- though that experience is the one that cemented my Iowa origins ... Sutliff is smaller than small town and even i always recognized that, but felt lucky to say my family was from it.

and now it's gone. A bridge that survived '65 and '93 and survived being demolished on countless times... gone to the wrath that is mother nature and a wrath that is constantly re-proving that this year is going to be even more severe than that of '93... which was suppose to be the worst it ever could be.

It's just physical proof of what I always knew to be truth. But it's the physical proof of the mysticism that is the very essence of my marrow and knowing it's gone -- when knowing that it stood though i haven't seen it in over a decade helped to ground me to my roots -- causes an ache in my very bones.

http://www.kcrg.com/younews/19903804.html

one of the neighborhood cats showing off his balance skills, taken with the review device (hence the poor quality) because my camera's dead

rockin' out to the beat of finals!

still homeworking... but in a smidge of delirium this time

JSTOR has a new look -- all pretty and academically sexy. Thankfully not more than two other people are on JSTOR at 1.15 in the morning this time! Seriously -- who else is on JSTOR at 3am -- I can't get over that still.

little fun factoid about me -- i have five library cards in my wallet. all for out here in greater metro area and all necessary to have with me so i can get into various libraries that i actually access! urban life is fun.

homeworking in obscurity

it's quiet in my section of the ether tonight. my computer is connected to millions of points on the planet at the moment yet i see none in my corner -- it could be an overwhelming experience :)

something has changed lately. if i can figure out what has changed -- how all the little things that have changed have cumulated into the combined force that was strong enough to affect this change, i might stand a chance of making it through this long-term design process. whatever it was, however it happened, it's good -- i hope it lasts.

final thought: is architecture school suppose to feel like you're descending into schizophrenia... though maybe i could describe it better as walking on the edge of a razorblade... or, running up a scree slope....

There's a show on PBS tonight about how socio-economics can affect health and one of the interviewees mentions that he makes enough money to choose where he lives etc. He commented that he doesn't have to find a bus station to take the bus two hours each way each day just to get to and from work. Because of this, he has time to exercise and because he has a car, he can live where he wants and shop where he wants for better foods.

My thought is -- does living without a car, clearly a symbol of elevated socio-economic status in the US, mean the same thing if one makes the decision, the choice to live without the car? When it's a choice -- and it can be a very stressful lack in my life at times -- does it cause the same type of stress for someone who supposedly could afford a car as it does for someone who can not afford a vehicle?

today was a day to live a normal day -- i pushed hard through my homework this last week (and taxes) so i could take today/night off from school. i just went to work, had lunch out and went with friends to a concert.

which concert? why an amazing concert! featuring the Wailin' Jennys from "Canada". I loved how they really didn't specify much. Though they probably, like me, claim to hail from multiple places in their country -- as I assume they're the type of spirits to roam a bit.

a truly amazing concert and experience, I skipped class tonight to make this happen. but as they are from the West Coast, they don't often make it to the East Coast too often, or at least as I've noticed. So i decided this time I would go and not worry about waiting for the next time they're out here. Plus they were right here in Somerville, what could be more convenient? Last time they were in Newburyport. Tomorrow night and Saturday, they're in Northampton and I can't help thinking it'll be a more lively crowd -- not like I had energy to be lively tonight myself. But it was still just amazing! So I am glad I went and sooo glad I made sure to go.



Additional a fellow classmate came too -- it's a funny story how it happened. she'd received a cd of their music three weeks prior from an aunt for her birthday. Then last Thursday night after class, she gave me a ride home. I was already singing along with the music, thinking how familiar it is, when she was saying how I should look into this group and that led to a conversation along the lines --

"omg, I love this group! They're playing next week in Somerville. I'm skipping class to go! You should come with!" -- me

"haha, I'm so stressed tonight, I think I might! That's so funny!" -- friend

so i had accomplices in my plot to play hooky tonight -- and it was a lovely scheme. :)



so it's late and I'm not completely sure I'm coherent -- or even if i have been for days...

i hate baby's breath. but it does make some damn fine looking model trees.

and i've learned -- don't change shoe types in the middle of a stressful week. when your feet hurt, everything suddenly seems even more awful



ok time for history or sleep. whichever actually happens

i'm so good at not writing for months -- then i only write to say that the stress is finally manifesting itself beyond small annoyances and panic is arising. too bad that's when i seem to be best at getting stuff done for final crits.

it's so weird how stress that's been internalized can't even be felt, yet when it finally starts manifesting externally only then do i understand just how much of it there is... how do i get to stay so calm when it's internal?

can't i just go back to visiting museums in new york?