i'm interrupting my 'long haul' -- as i've recently dubbed my evenings of late, i'll try to remember to explain why later -- because i was thinking about the architect and i realised something ... or rather i came upon a question concerning him for which i have two answers and i'm not sure which one is right.

i've been trying to understand what about him makes him different for me -- why do i feel more comfortable with him than i have other guys in the past, especially when i can tell he's not a guy i'm going to marry ...

i suppose you could say that it's simply age and time -- i haven't dated in years, i'm extremely independent and i've had plenty of time to evaluate what i want out of a relationship

or it's that being independent, having been so and on only my own for the last several years, I know how i am and that i could walk away from this relationship intact

or it's that he's older (??) -- this brings us back to that question of age vs. maturity though (read the previous posts) -- and is more willing to let me be me even though there are things about me that he isn't as fond of (vice versa for me!

those were the main points of thought and most of the rest revolved around those... and for that i interrupt my long haul of homework, cleaning and laundry -- why do i try to cramp so much into one evening when i'm getting into the busy part of my semester! why do i think these things are good things that MUST be done now! ... aieaie aie.... i laugh at own insanity, feel free to join in

back to the grind...